E3 2015: Wild Emotions; Part 2: SO MUCH HYPE I CAN'T EVEN

So I put down the Microsoft conference and I haven't watched the Ubisoft or EA conferences due to time constraints. Also I've seen the Ubisoft and EA conferences for the past three years now and each time I've only expressed very mild interest in what they had to offer. I did hear though that EA showed off the new Mirror's Edge and it looks great, so I'll have to check that out. So then I went to the Sony conference, and for the THIRD YEAR IN A ROW Sony has blown me away into a gust of hype. Right off the bat they unveiled The Last Guardian, a game made by the makers of Shadow of the Colossus that has been on development hell for years. That was fantastic, but that wasn't all.

Can I have this game now please?

I don't remember everything in great detail, so I'm just going to go through what immediately comes to mind. First there's No Man's Sky, which showed in spite of originally not being planned to appear. Last year I saw a teaser and thought it looked nice, this year I saw gameplay and I am mindblown. It is basically a sort of Minecraft but the scale is incredible. Instead of just one endlessly randomingly generating world, you have an ENTIRE UNIVERSE of individual planets that are generated. Billions of stars, infinitely even more trillions of planets to see. Add space battles to all that and you have what is pretty much one of the best games ever made, for me at least. This game was made exactly for me. The whole reason why I got into games as a kid was to see new worlds, which coincidentally with regard to this was through Star Fox 64, another space travel game of sort (although not a sandbox). This game pretty much speaks to a hundred percent of my fancies, so yeah, instant winner for me.

You see all those dots, or stars? You can go to all of them. And this picture isn't even a twentieth of the No Man's Sky's full scale.

The other game that comes immediately to mind is the next game the makers of Little Big Planet are making: Dreams. Apparently in this game everything starts off like a canvas, and you actually paint everything you want to make in a "level:" the characters, the environment, the objects, everything. So, from the trailer's implications, you can make pretty much anything, like a teddy bear gunning down a bunch of zombies. It all seems very bizarre, and I don't know about intuitive, but it was certainly unique. I don't know if I'll play this game because I think I may end up spending years trying to create something with its toolkit, but the game is certainly very fresh and quite unlike anything I've seen before.

This pretty much captures everything about what they showed about Dreams.

Another interesting game I almost forgot was Horizon: Zero Dawn. In this game, you are apparently some hunter in a post-apocalyptic(?) Earth where the humans of today (that is 2015) have long since disappeared, and now there are machines roaming about in the place of (or alongide?) wild animals. The whole humans versus machines and post-apocalyptic, abandoned world routine isn't exactly new, but this game sort of puts it in an interesting light by using this whole Stone Age vibe to it (meaning, like, the humans of the game's time use some technology but it's in the fashion of what things like Native Americans would use... I think?). I mean, like, the main character is running around hunting mechanical creatures with a bow and arrow (an electronic one that shoots EMP arrows and stuff). I don't know, it looks interesting.

Hunting with bows and arrows a la during the Ice Age meets Dubstep Dinosaur. I think I explained it better now.

And then there's Street Fighter V, which looks gorgeous, and it's about damn time too. Street Fighter IV has been around since nearly the dawn of the freaking Xbox 360, even though they've managed to keep it going through expansions. I don't know, all I know is, being a part of a fighting game community (Smash Brothers), I understand having the same game for a long while can get old. Even fans of Melee are still pining for a new Smash that is as technical as that game was (boy do I feel sorry for those lads).

They also showed a new Destiny expansion and a new Hitman game, neither of which I could particularly care for given that Destiny is massively overhyped and this trailer for Hitman is exactly the same as every trailer I've seen for Hitman. It almost feels like I'm watching the same game shift in development for over a decade.

FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE!!!!!!!

After pretty much all this, my god, the bombs were dropped. I am still recovering from the shellshock I experienced when the bombs fell and essentially exploded in my face. I am still questioning what is real and what isn't ("Like, is any of this for real, or not?"). I don't mean any of this in a negative way either. What follows is a relapse of my watching this conference. It was time for Square Enix to take the stage; great, we get to see some Kindgom Hearts III! But wait, it's not Kingdom Hearts III, it's just some weird chibi Final Fantasy game. Once again, another spinoff from Square Enix, oh joy. This one doesn't look too bad, though, as there's an open world experience and a pretty nice looking battle system. Then, the spokesman cut on to their next teaser, and kind of spoiled it for everyone but also built up hype.

"Now many years ago Square Enix released a groundbreaking title that went on to become one of the most beloved games in Playstation and video game history..."

YEAH! FINAL FANTASY VI REMAKE, RIGHT? No wait, this guy narrating is too serious-sounding to be Final Fantasy VI. This sounds like a new Final Fantasy with its head shoved up its ass. Final Fantasy XV maybe? But wait, that sword looks vaguely familiar, and so does that "South Edge" name. People are getting off a train, this world looks fairly modern, and this whole, "The memory of a star that threatened all" hearkens back to something very familiar. Final Fantasy VII? Is this a sequel? This music sounds very ominous and creepy. Wait, what's this dark, grimy looking city? That looks like Midgar! And that looks like the beginning of Final Fantasy VII, the bombing mission! That's the reactor that AVALANCHE bombs. And that guy with the gun on his arm... Barrett? And that's Cloud! And that's the opening theme from Final Fantasy VII.

It's like my memories were made a lot clearer now.

Not even the title, but the game's logo appears on screen, then fades to the words, "REMAKE." An uproar from the crowd ensues.

BARRETT!

My reaction is kind of hilarious in that initially I had no reaction. I saw all that and thought, "This is ridiculous." I actually could not believe what I was watching, somebody was pulling off the most epic troll in the history of trolls. But it was real, and when I accepted what I saw as true, I didn't have an immediate outbreak either. I just sort of nodded and said, "Cool! They're finally remaking this game." Then it sank in, and after the conference started getting less interesting after the Batman trailer, I started freaking out (in a good way). The trailer kept replaying in my head and all those years of cock teases with Square Enix's stupid fucking tech demos and mediocre to downright terrible sequels and spinoffs of Final Fantasy VII flashed through my mind, until the original game's special moments all came back to me. At that point, I started losing it, I started laughing and squeeing and screaming and exclaiming that the unthinkable has happened (in a good way).

I still cannot find the words to properly explain how I feel about this. "Mindbroken" is one way. But I also find it kind of weird that they're remaking the game now, of all the times in the world. They just released Final Fantasy Type-0 for the PS4, they're still working on Final Fantasy XV, and they're working on Kingdom Hearts III. I'm not particularly worried for Kingdom Hearts III, and I honestly couldn't care much for what happens to XV at this point, but that's where the problem lies. Why would they be so stupid to remake this game when they still haven't released Final Fantasy XV? Who is going to remember that game now? If it flops, or even if it's just not received well enough, I'm willing to guess it is going to be completely overshadowed by this remake. Oh well. On the other hand, I couldn't be happier. Some of the most classic characters, environments, and scenes in gaming history are going to be recreated in such great detail now that this remake is going to possibly be the king of all video game remakes for a long time to come, if Square doesn't fuck up everything. Considering that they've held true to their remakes in the past (mostly, I think. I'm pretty sure the Final Fantasy X/X-2 remakes are very true to their original games), I feel like this game will be fine.

To further give an idea of the amazement this announcement struck not just me but pretty much everyone interested, here's a snapshot of a chat session that took place during this Square Enix segment:

[18:44:34] ~dun dun dun dun dun dun dun duuun dun~
[18:44:35] :p
[18:44:40] !!!!!!!!!!!
[18:44:45] THIS IS IT
[18:44:52] Final Fantasy time
[18:44:56] YAY, DLC
[18:44:57] FUCK
[18:44:58] nope
[18:44:59] not it
[18:45:00] Congratulations! Your eevee evolved into murdeon!
[18:45:07] Final Fantasy!
[18:45:14] FFXV
[18:45:19] nope
[18:45:21] wait, Kingdom Hearts?
[18:45:23] KH3
[18:45:23] what the fuck
[18:45:25] Bleh
[18:45:25] FUCK YOU
[18:45:26] DIE
[18:45:30] WHAT IS THIS.
[18:45:30] http://www.gameinformer.com/b/features/archive/2015/06/09/exploring-the-depths-of-abzu.aspx Ooooh
[18:45:33] wait, what?
[18:45:33] what the hell
[18:45:34] LOL
[18:45:36] this is Kingdom Hearts?
[18:45:45] what..
[18:45:47] chibi KH?
[18:45:47] um, this is adorable though
[18:45:48] lol
[18:46:06] This is the remake of FFVII, obviously
[18:46:11] World of Final Fantasy?
[18:46:16] hahah
[18:46:18] HAHAH
[18:46:21] oh
[18:46:22] my
[18:46:22] god
[18:46:23] MORE FUCKING WIKI WORK
[18:46:24] what the hell?
[18:46:24] are they doing this
[18:46:25] FInal Fantasy XVI
[18:46:26] The crowd looks like they'd rather die
[18:46:26] Oh
[18:46:30] Nope.
[18:46:32] MORE USELESS CRAP TO ADD TO PAGES
[18:46:33] than be there
[18:46:36] Sony loses. SE loses.
[18:46:36] Lol
[18:46:38] OH
[18:46:39] LEE
[18:46:40] SHIT
[18:46:42] MORE RECURRING ABILITY PAGES
[18:46:42] okay, I like it
[18:46:43] FUCK ORR
[18:46:44] VITA.
[18:46:45] VITA.
[18:46:47] OH MY GOD
[18:46:47] HOLY SHIT BOYS
[18:46:47] nope
[18:46:49] not it
[18:46:50] KH3???
[18:46:50] IT'S HAPPENING
[18:46:50] OH MY GOD
[18:46:58] WHAT NO
[18:46:59] or is it
[18:46:59] NO
[18:47:00] wait Edge?
[18:47:01] I'M CONFUSED
[18:47:01] SERIOUSLY
[18:47:05] This is an Advent Children game
[18:47:12] Wow, everyone's really getting into this...:D
[18:47:14] This pisses me off
[18:47:15] THis is the music
[18:47:19] FFVII 2
[18:47:19] god
[18:47:20] LOL
[18:47:21] Many years ago, SE released a groundbreaking game
[18:47:21] TROLL
[18:47:24] As if we didn't already have to deal
[18:47:25] Dirge of Cerberus
[18:47:26] trolololololol
[18:47:30] HAHA
[18:47:30] HD Dirge of Cerberus
[18:47:32] I LOVE IT
[18:47:34] I'm fine with this
[18:47:34] With mobile crap
[18:47:36] no
[18:47:40] NO
[18:47:42] NO
[18:47:43] NO
[18:47:50] LOOOOOOOOOL
[18:47:52] is this Sephiroth narrating?
[18:47:55] They said the compilation was dead
[18:47:56] is this
[18:47:57] HD DIRGE OF CERBERUS
[18:47:57] NOPE BIATCH
[18:47:58] happening
[18:48:06] it's far in the future!
[18:48:07] IB Vg8qWVJUF»H
[18:48:07] b-w
[18:48:07] aw«
[18:48:07] BPHUSDFRK
[18:48:07] ¸JN
[18:48:08] HERP;OLHERHA,EHERTGWER�
[18:48:08] EAPU
[18:48:08] QW24T
[18:48:08] EGTE3
[18:48:09] YAH
[18:48:09] ERWU9GY23u=
[18:48:10] rtw234=
[18:48:13] WHAT
[18:48:15] SJKHFKGRT,DMFTBFR;G
[18:48:15] [~KujaRhaps@modemcable012.125-131-66.mc.videotron.ca] has quit IRC: Excess Flood
[18:48:22] Really? An HD Doc?
[18:48:25] *DoC
[18:48:25] WHAT THE
[18:48:29] FUCKING
[18:48:30] [~KujaRhaps@modemcable012.125-131-66.mc.videotron.ca] has joined #Wikia-FF
[18:48:32] I TOLD YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE THERE IS SMOKE
[18:48:32] WHAT
[18:48:33] fucck
[18:48:33] HAHAHA OMG
[18:48:34] WHAT
[18:48:34] WHAT
[18:48:35] THERE IS FUCKING FIRE
[18:48:35] NO WAY
[18:48:36] what the fuck?
[18:48:36] WHAT
[18:48:37] JHAFHDHFDHSF
[18:48:37] remakaeml;ra
[18:48:37] it's not Dirge of Cerberus!
[18:48:37] WHAT
[18:48:38] WHAT
[18:48:38] HELLO
[18:48:39] bhyjugkbvhwreklghurgkuvwrhbgverbnet
[18:48:39] WAHTTTTTTTTTTTT
[18:48:39] WHAT
[18:48:40] WHAT
[18:48:40] JIZZZZZZZZZZ BITCHES
[18:48:41] ntsrjhbvhjvsfkjhgvbfg'
[18:48:41] HELLO LADIES
[18:48:41] WHAT?
[18:48:42] I TOLD YOU
[18:48:42] fljhsdbvfksjdhbvfsdjkhnbvfgsd
[18:48:43] FACTS
[18:48:44] 'kjdnbhjbvfsdkjhbvsdfkjlvfsd
[18:48:44] WHOA?
[18:48:44] FIODSJHDIOKSJFKD
[18:48:45] ghjxdvbfhjbsdklv
[18:48:45] Hi?
[18:48:46] I ONLY DEAL IN FACTS
[18:48:47] 'why
[18:48:48] I TOLD YOU
[18:48:50] YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
[18:48:53] I'm going to kick all of you
[18:48:53] ?
[18:48:53] jesus h christ
[18:48:53] HELLO
[18:48:55] on a pogo stick
[18:48:57] ff7 remake
[18:48:58] on ps4
[18:48:58] WHAT
[18:49:02] OH MY MOTHERFUCKING GOD
[18:49:02] ITS HAPPENING
[18:49:02] WE DID IT
[18:49:02] NO
[18:49:03] SHIT
[18:49:06] FUCKING
[18:49:06] SHIT IN MY MOUTH
[18:49:06] now I can leave in peace
[18:49:07] WAY
[18:49:08] For real? O_O
[18:49:08] HOLY
[18:49:11] I WILL EAT MY OWN SHITE.
[18:49:12] FUCKING
[18:49:12] FUCK YEAH BABY
[18:49:13] WHAT
[18:49:16] TIFA IN HD

So yeah, it was a pretty crazy announcement. I still cannot believe it is real, now I really want to get a PS4 (or Xbone if certain conditions are met).

After that insanity, they continued to show off things that gamers have dreamed of for years with Shenmue 3. However, this announcement was a little odd. Rather than the company coming out and saying what they are doing, they're doing a... Kickstarter trailer? What? As the great Blue Highwind said about this particular moment, if Sony brought them and this game to show off at E3, why wouldn't they pay the developers themselves? Who knows? Maybe they actually are through their Kickstarter, which would be kinda weird. I actually know very little about Shenmue 3, but here is what I found out from Wikipedia: "The story centers on an 18-year-old man named Ryo Hazuki, whose father has been murdered by a mysterious man named Lan Di. Ryo embarks on a quest to avenge his father's death and unlock the mysteries of a legendary stone mirror." Also it is apparently not confined to a specific genre? Like it is an adventure but Wikipedia says it is also, "An epic adventure with movie-like cinematography and plot elements that include drama, mystery, romance, suspense and action. Shenmue offers a game-playing experience that includes elements of action, adventure, fighting, life simulation and role-playing games." Sounds like it was pretty ambitious. I'm sure now with Kickstarter and all, though, that can help get the game on its feet; as a matter of fact, I think I read that the campaign has already succeeded. Anyway, just goes to show how insane this year has been, with all these highly anticipated games, games people have been clamoring for for years, coming out of nowhere. Isn't this year's E3 great? And the majority of these are happening in this conference alone, holy shit!

I don't know a thing about this game, but if you do and want to support it, here's a link.

They then showed off a trailer for the new Batman Arkham game, in which the Scarecrow is the new villian. Sounds awesome. Then, the rest of the conference kinda lost steam. First they showed off Call of Duty: Yet Another Uninspired Game, then they briefly mentioned Kingdom Hearts only to talk about Disney Infinity for some reason, then EA and Dice came up to show of Star Wars: Battlefont Front, starring Luke Skywater Skywalker. While it's cool and all that this game is being revived, and what they showed looks beautiful, I have little faith in it because the removed the freaking space battles that were the best part of the series. So unless they put those back and don't force you to pay for it, I'm not getting the game, simple.

To close the Sony conference, they showed a demo of Uncharted 4. I have vaguely followed Uncharted, so I have no idea what's really going on, but apparently they stepped through a door and time traveled back to some point to save a guy? Sounds interesting. So with all that, it would be hard to imagine how Nintendo could possibly follow up that hype if it weren't for the possibility of them announcing a new Metroid game, along with already the other games that people kind of figured they were going to reveal. Unfortunately, what a bitter disappointment that turned out to be...