Sky Pirate's Den

Sky Pirate's Den

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

The Death of the Grim Patron Warrior (Thank God)

I'm going to try writing more often here, because I feel like my writing overall has suffered from just the lack of doing so regularly. So I figured what better place to kick off again than with the recent announcement that the Warsong Commander is receiving a nerf that essentially destroys the Grim Patron deck?

Basically, Warsong Commander has been nerfed to give minions with charge plus one attack. This effectively makes Warsong Commander a shittier version of Raid Leader, with plus one health and a situational effect. So yeah this is pretty shitty, they made a basic card completely worthless, blah blah.

I think I am going to just throw this out there right now. If you're expecting an intelligent discussion on the meta of Hearthstone and the repercussions this nerf will create, go to the Hearthstone subreddit for that, because I am here to say THANK FUCKING GOD THEY PUT AN END TO THIS LAZY, CHEAP-ASS FUCKING DECK.

My first experience with Grim Patron was online in a match where somebody just one-turn-killed me. I'm not an insanely competitive player with loads of great cards at my disposal, but I like to think that my Warlock deck is fairly decent (it is currently in the process of becoming a wonderful demon deck). Still, when that happened, I wasn't even mad at first. I was in awe that somebody could pull off such a hilarious looking combo. I even wanted to jump on the bandwagon for this deck at first. I played a couple of other Grim Patron Warriors online and managed to curb-stomp them, so I figured, "This deck can't be so bad." But then the reality of how broken it truly was settled in when I lost to three warriors in a row in the same exact fashion of them having the answer to every taunt I would put down, and then proceeding to OTK me with their stupid as fuck combo. Literally every warrior managed to shut down my taunts, get an Emporer Thaurissan out, and then play the magical super combo that had no counters whatsoever. Every time, my taunts got shut down. Then they play Thaurissan, and I can either taunt and attempt to block as much damage as I could and then still lose on my next turn because even if I could block one or two attacks from the bullshit combo, there would still be enough minions plus the Frothing Berserker to just kill me anyway, or I could remove the card, stopping me from getting hit for five damage and also stopping my opponent from lowering the mana cost of any more cards, but then I would have nothing on my board to protect me from being hit. This happened three games against warriors in a row. At that point, I just autoconceded to any warrior I came across. If they want to remove all the fun out of the game from me, I'll do the same for them by not even giving them a match to enjoy their bullshit.

This nerf isn't in effect yet, and I think I heard it comes in next week. Still, I'm glad to know that the end to that bullshit is finally on the damn horizon. Sorry if you played Grim Patron and feel like Blizzard took a massive shit on you, but this was seriously just way too much fucking power that was way too accessible for almost literally anybody who just picked up the goddamn game to use. At the end of the day it really wasn't even the fact that Grim Patron Warrior could OTK me, it was knowing that there was a deck out there that took relatively little effort to put together and even less so to play it at all while my Warlock deck -- which I have been working on for months, still isn't finished, takes some strategy to use correctly, and is very satisfying to win with and actually somewhat viable (when it is finished that'll change to very viable) -- will get crushed by such a cheap, low-effort deck pretty much ninety-nine percent of the time.

I guess the answer then would be to put together a new deck. Unfortunately I do not have enough time and money flowing through my veins to be able to have access to a variety of counters for everything. I've come to accept this as well, really. I've come to accept that a crazy mana-ramp Druid or a Mage with constant removal is going to kick my deck's ass. What sets those apart from Grim Patron is, again, the time it took to make those decks and the level of skill it takes to play them. A lot of people have been claiming that Grim Patron allegedly takes a "lot" of skill to play, but from what I've seen of win ratios and from all these stories I hear of, "I got my friend into Hearthstone and showed him this deck because it's cheap to put together," I cannot see how that is the case when just about anyone who has a simple grasp of how to deal with RNG can win.

So once again, sorry Grim Patron Warriors, but your cheap-ass deck can die in a motherfucking fire. I'll be gladly taking back a place in your playing field with my Voidcaller into Fearsome Doomguards and Defender of Argus combos, thank you very much.