A Small Check In

Sorry I've been really busy for the month, but I have some good news. I got the new Dissidia, and I must say it's new storyline is a huge improvement. It could be a million times better without Vaan and his stupid ass, but I think the game paid much respect to Tifa and Lightning's characters, as I was hoping for, so I'm cool with the game. It still pisses me off that you have to level up your characters and that you can only have so many abilities, and that your characters are nothing without gear (oh man, in this game they made the consequences of not having gear even worse than before). However, I got Lightning up to level eighty thanks to a new and hilariously exploitable and easy way to level up your favorite characters and stuff. The game also rewards those who went through the nonsense that was Dissidia 1 by allowing you to keep your characters' levels from the first one along with that awesome chocobo that would give you experience multipliers like crazy, but the downside is that the gear and summons are not transferable for some stupid reason. That's all for now. More on a playthrough (and this time I mean it) next time on this blog!

Enter Gilgamesh!

It looks like Square finally wised up to their choice of characters. Who wanted ExDeath as Bartz's adversary? Nobody. We were all looking for Gilgamesh, and when he was not featured in the first Dissidia, I was all like "SQUARE, Y U NO FEATURE GILGAMESH," but now he's here, and now i have some competition with Lightning over who's going to be my "only" character. Lightning may still be my "only" character given that Gilgamesh is an unlockable character like Gabranth and Shanttoto were. Considering that I will probably have to play through Vaan's story for that and go on another adventure with that moron, I am not so sure if I will ever get to experience what it's like playing as Gilgamesh. I read that he was basically a wild card character whose attacks are completely random, and I'm not sure if that's really a good thing.

However, I liked what I saw from that video (lol, Butz Klauser). That was a hilarious whooping at the end. So maybe I'll endure the torment of "I wanna be a sky pirate" Vaan, "Why am I fighting" Cloud, and every other character in Dissidia that I hated. Gilgamesh seems like he is worth the breaking down of my sanity.

The Fabula Novella Crystallis Dish Out More Expectations

First off all: BAM! Finally, some gameplay footage for Versus XIII. Finally, I am no longer contemplating whether the game exists.



Update: Apparently Square lifted the copyright block on the trailer. The hell? Well, please ignore anything I say about the trailer being blocked, and do enjoy!

Unfortunately I didn't quite make out half of what I saw, but from what I did make out, I instantly developed high hopes for this game. The fact that it is still a PS3 exclusive is already sounding good to me. The CGI trailers look great, but the actual gameplay graphics look a bit funny. The gameplay looks promising, as it really is that Kingdom Hearts-esque style of combat that Square promised not to bullshit. It just doesn't look too glamorous yet, but that might be perhaps of limited abilities in the trailer. From what I've seen, though, it doesn't look too bad. Most of the trailer showed Noctis running around in a slightly realistic looking city with cannons bombarding the streets and some weird flying bus thing crashing into buildings. If that wasn't enough, they showed the fight against the Behemoth, which is an actual Final Fantasy Behemoth and not some retarded bipedal piece of shit that FFXII tried to pull on me. Those Behemoths are not vicious, they look more like a pack of idiots.

Well, I was going to post the video for FFXIII's sequel, FFXIII-2, but Square blocked it for some stupid  reason. I assume that could only mean that the trailer I had for Versus XIII here might also be blocked, for this is all happening before I've even posted this shit yet. Oh well, I guess I cannot show you all Lightning's ass for now, but in time good Readers, in time. I'm afraid that that game will be terrible, but I'm willing to cling to some hope since Lightning's in it. Maybe the developers will actually make the game an explorable world with tons of sidequests, but given their previous compilations to other video games, that would be very unlikely.

Note: Yeah, they blocked that Versus XIII video too. Sorry, Readers, but I can't help it if Square wants to be a pain. We'll just have to wait till they calm the hell down about their "rights."

HD Videos | Final Fantasy XIII-2 | Reveal Trailer

Well I found another trailer for the second FFXIII. God knows how long this one will last, so hopefully whoever the hell I imagine is reading this has a chance to get a good look at you know what before Square takes it down. Aw man, come on Square, don't be so stingy with your fanservice.

I'm now working on figuring out how I am going to save the video.

D012 Jump Festa 2011 Trailer

Unfortunately, I don't understand a lick of Japanese, so I can't give a full commentary on what I feel about what the hell is going on. I only have two statements: 1) ZOMG IT'S LIGHTNING :D and 2) what the hell is Vaan doing with Terra?

Update: Actually, I have something else to say now that I have seen something I didn't even notice the first time I watched this. At the end, in between the scene where Tidus and Jecht headbuttsex each other and the other of Lightning raping Garland, there is a short clip of somebody walking on water. Everyone's been going crazy now and exclaiming that it was Yuna, a character from FFX that I am not familiar with as I have never played that game nor any other game that features her (except KHII, but that really doesn't count). I decided to look her up and see if I can match any details of her with the little details they give in the trailer. Sure enough, her skirt is pretty much unique for her character, so it is definitely her in the video. Unfortunately, me providing evidence that she will be in the game won't change the fact that you cannot make a statement on youtube now without getting "OMFG YUNA IS IN DISSIDIA" in response. Hopefully she will represent herself well in this game, unlike Cloud in the original Dissidia. "Why am I fighting?" will forever live in infamy.

FFVXIII

Looks interesting enough. I wish we could get some legit gameplay footage, not some nonsense where a handheld camera is filming part of a screen showing the game. It also doesn't help when the guy who does the filming happens to be the same cameraman from Cloverfield.

And So This Is... Starlight Celebration?

I have never played FFXI. Not once in my right mind did I believe that FFXI was worth my time at all, and during those days I felt that WoW was a million times better. It probably still is, but it may be outmatched when compared to FFXIV. Anyway, even though I never had any real desire to play FFXI, I always feel a slight tinge in me whenever I think of the game's Starlight Celebration, which has always seemed more fantastic to me than WoW's Christmas lookalike of which I forgot the name. Things just seem so extravagant and pretty, and being the Christmas fanboy I am, I am drawn by the game's less cartoony and and slightly better-detailed Christmas "decorations," like the huge trees and all. In point, I would love to try out this game for a little while, then put it away and never look back on it again. Happy Starlight Celebration to those who do play this game.

New Characters for Dissidia 012

I apologize that I have a prequel to the turd that was Dissidia under my spotlight, but you must understand how interested in it I am now that Lightning and TIFA are in the game. I know, that's old news. I haven't reported here in a long time, that's why. So here is the lineup of new characters:

• Lightning
• Kain
• Tifa
• Laguna
• Vaan (Wait a minute, WTF?)

Yeah, Vaan is in the game too. I think I mispelled his name... let me check... right, on the list I originally put Vann, not Vaan. His name isn't that important, so lets move on. So first we have Lightning, the star of Dissidia. I don't care about the Warrior of Light, because he is a fail robot character, a machine without a human purpose. Firion is also weird: "A dream of a field full of roses." Get the hell out of here, Firion, if you are not going to take this seriously. The Onion Knight is not really a bad character, but I hate him for being the epitome of spam, and the game's hero cannot be a spambot. Bartz is a failure, Terra is cool... huh, I guess she could be in competition with Lightning here, Cloud is retarded in Dissidia. "Why am I fighting?" Get the hell out of here. Squall is alright, I guess, but there's just something about FFVIII that I just don't like about it. Zidane is annoying, and Tidus is even more so with his horrible voice acting. Shantotto is not even a protagonist, and she comes from FFXI, an mmorpg that charges you money  even after they release ANOTHER mmorpg named FFXIV (they just keep wasting away the numbers in their series), so therefore she is eliminated as a possible central character. Vaan makes Zidane look like a god and Tidus the Auron of this game, and that is really saying something. Trufax: Vaan sucks soooo much that his weapon is the worst weapon in all of FFXII, which is the mythril sword that pointlessly drops after you defeat the hardest boss in the game.

Oh, wow, and of course there's Cecil, who fails so hard in Dissidia that I completely forgot about him. As for the other new characters, they can't be protagonists either. Kain has that same stupid class switching that Cecil has, which utterly crippled him in Dissidia, so I wouldn't doubt that it will do the same to Kain. Laguna can't be the protagonist for two reasons: 1) he comes from FFVIII, and 2) his storyline in the game seemed irrelevant to me, for the quarter of the game that I played. As for Tifa... you know what, yeah, she'll share the spotlight with Lightning because 1) she's a chick, and 2) she kicks just as much ass, but without a weapon :D

Last of course, you have the villains. But what sense does it make to make them protagonists? Absolutely none, that's for sure. For now, I don't want to say much, so I am just going to leave with a couple of new gameplay videos where my two girls get raped by idiots.